How Not to Become a Bridezilla

You have been dreaming about this moment since you were a little girl. This will be the most memorable day of your entire life. Everything must be absolutely perfect for your perfect day.

You've replayed Charles and Diana's wedding over and over again in your head and you already know what you would have done differently. If any of these thoughts have gone through your head, then you have the potential to become a Bridezilla.

Bridezilla is a recently coined term to describe what happens when brides loose perspective on reality and become difficult, irrational, and overly irritating. The result of this behavior can cause family disagreements, sever friendships, and in severe cases, can end the bride and groom's relationship.

Even the nicest of people can turn into a Bridezilla, so I have listed some helpful hints on how NOT to become one. For the sake of your family, friends, caterers, band, DJ, wedding planner, random people on the street and, most importantly, your future spouse, please read the following tips:

1) Please remove the word "perfect" from your vocabulary for the entire span of the wedding planning process. Nothing in the world is perfect and nothing will ever be perfect. Striving for perfection in a wedding is like searching for Big Foot - you might see or hear tales about the "perfect" wedding, but it doesn't exist. If you look for perfection, you will be disappointed. Instead, use words such as "happy", "fun", and "memorable".

2) Wedding planning can ultimately result in 9-12 months of having your impending nuptials consume every waking thought. Therefore, it is easy to forget that the rest of the world is not also consumed with your wedding (well, except maybe your mother). But, let me assure you, the rest of the world is NOT consumed with your wedding.

This means that there is a wedding saturation point for all parties involved - including the bride - so follow the guidelines below: a. Every week, plan one evening with your fiancé that has one strict rule - No Wedding Talk. Go out to the movies, visit the museum, enjoy a new restaurant, or even stay in, order pizza and watch a movie.

Remind yourselves why you wanted to get married in the first place.b. Once a month, plan a night out with your friends (including members of the bridal party if possible) and enforce the "No Wedding Talk" rule. Instead, dish on the latest gossip, and spend an evening focusing on catching up on other people's lives.

3) Repeat this mantra "This is our wedding" over and over again. This mantra has a double meaning.a. "This is our wedding" means it is not just your wedding. Yes, maybe your fiancé's idea of a centerpiece includes daisies in a beer bottle, but it is important to incorporate ideas from both camps. A wedding should be a reflection of the couple and a celebration of their personalities.

Even if that compromise means having pigs in a blanket served along with your petit fours.b. "This is our wedding" means it is not your mother's, mother-in-law's, sister's, friend's, or wedding planner's wedding. If you want an intimate affair in Jamaica, so be it. If you want to get married in Las Vegas by Elvis while your family watches, they will just have to grin and bear it.

4) At least twice during your wedding planning process, volunteer in your community. Nothing puts more perspective on your life than helping someone else who has not been as fortunate as you. After a day of volunteering, it becomes a little harder to throw a fit because your bridesmaid's shoes aren't an exact match to her dress.

5) Think back to other weddings you have been to and reflect on what made them memorable in your mind. Was it the wedding favors? Was it the color of the bridesmaid's dresses? Do you even remember what you ate, how the cake tasted, or when the DJ screwed up and mispronounced the father-of-the-bride's name? Contact your grandparents and ask them what they remember about their wedding. Chances are they will only remember being surrounded by friends and family, and how beautiful/handsome their mate looked on that day. Everything else is just details, baby, details.

by Brandy Sprague